Hi! I’m Kjerstine T. Nice to meet ‘cha.
As I say in my little “About” section, this blog is a catch-all. I’ll talk about the scholarly work I’m doing. I’ll talk about my cats being adorable (or being assholes depending on the day). I’ll talk about my life and it’s beauty. I’ll talk about my life and the ugliness in it as well.
Part of this ugliness, and perhaps the part that is key to understanding much of the rationale behind my posts of a more personal nature, is chronic illness. I suffer from severe endometrisosis, asthma, PTSD, and Anxiety to list the big ones. If something else comes up, I’ll talk about it then.
In many ways, my childhood was blessed. I have loving parents and had a financially stable childhood. My parents’ professions and academic backgrounds allowed me access to resources few other children had. I refuse to ignore the good in my childhood.
Yet I cannot forget the bad. I was raped, repeatedly, as a young child by my daycare provider. Yes, it’s shocking. Yes, it’s disgusting. Take all the time you need to process this fact. Hell, go grab some tea if you need it – this blog will be here when you get back. Long story short, he didn’t go to jail as charges were never filed.
Beyond the abuse as a child, anxiety runs deep in my family and I am no exception, same with depression. I’ve been suicidal. The tattoo of a tree on my left wrist and forearm is covering up the old self-harm scars and helping to prevent new ones. I know what it’s like to believe that my disappearance would be a blessing to those around me. People often say suicide is selfish – I disagree. Every time I wanted things to end, it was so that others would not have to put up with me, not because I was hurting.
As an asthmatic with a weak immune system (childhood/ young adult PID), I also know what being sick is like. Thinking you’ll die before the break of dawn the next day is not a way to get good rest, let me tell you. Trying to move air during an asthma attack is like trying to suck a smoothie through a cocktail straw. Every time I have a flare, I have nightmares of drowning. Top that off with Endometriosis stage four and kidneys that don’t like to work and my body becomes a veritable stew of problems.
Overall, my life swings between two poles – incredibly bad luck and incredibly good luck. For every awful thing that has happened to me, something amazing has happened as well. I’ve flown planes. I’ve saved live as an EMT. I’ve traveled beyond the bounds of my country. I’ve worked all sorts of odd-jobs that have left me with hilarious stories. I have wonderful friends and a loving family. My life is far from doom and gloom.
The most important thing to remember about me is that I believe everyone has stories that should be shared. Our stories can help others in ways we could never imagine – whether it’s to provide a laugh or a connection or even help spread awareness. That’s my goal here: to share my stories. Use them as you will.